Sunday, November 30, 2008

Oh what a tangled web...

I'm useless at lying, but for the last two or three years I've been blogging without the knowledge of my family and friends. Well, apart from the friends I've met through the blog, obviously. Now, it's getting to the stage where, as soon as a conversation turns to things technological, I get prickly heat just trying to remember what camp someone's in - do they know? do they not? does it matter?

It was never meant to be like this...I started the transition blog anonymously because Buster would've hated me writing about him. And probably Barney might have too. So it was kind of a discretion/respect kind of thing. And then when I started this one it seemed sensible to stick with Honeysuckle. And now I'm in a pickle because home and virtual lives are interlinking and the people who know me best are excluded from one whole area of my life and...

Time to come clean?

Anyone else living a double life?

12 comments:

SpiralSkies said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SpiralSkies said...

I do feel for you - I much preferred my blog when it was anonymous but I managed to out myself to the extent that, if anyone (i.e. prospective employers, ex boyfriends) google my name, up I pop as no. 1 choice.

If your blogging is now less Buster-contentious, does it matter? or can you just let things drift - if 'real' friends read, there's presumably nothing in your blog to make them come and throttle you?

It's tricky, isn't it? I often feel as if my blog friends know the 'real' me more than my 'real' friends do.

Erm... what was the question again?

(Waving from typo city. Sorry.)

womagwriter said...

Non-writer friends and family know I blog but don't read my blog, and it doesn't have my name on it so they can't find it, unless they ask for a link or its name.

But they all think I'm a bit of a geek, a bit wierd for being a blogger, so haven't asked! Well, one sister-in-law did, but she also asks for copies of my published stories (she is in the USA so can't buy the mags) and therefore the only one with anything more than a polite interest in my writing.

If you are worried about the Buster thing, you could always delete that blog. I would copy its contents somewhere first though, as it is full of words of wisdom which could help others you come across in a similar situation.

KAREN said...

Most people I know, know that I blog but not many of them are interested in reading it, as it's primarily writing-based.

Oddly though, I'm reluctant for my library colleagues to know about it as I do mention the library from time to time, and I don't want to have to censor everything I write!

I s'pose the sensible thing is not to say anything on the blog that you wouldn't say to their face, or delete it and go annonymous!

Pat Posner said...

If you feel you'd like the family to know you blog, well, you could maybe start a completely new one?
Like Womag says, you could delete the other blogs after copying the contents.
(You'd have to let all your blogmates know the name of the new blog of course.)

Casdok said...

Dificult one.
Im useless at lying to. I havent told anyone as i didnt want Cs school and now home finding out so i can write things about them!!

Honeysuckle said...

Thanks for all advice. I think part of the problem is that, while I feel bad for being secretive, I think that's how I naturally am. Feeling bad about something doesn't always stop us doing it, does it?
Spiral Jen - it only matters insofar as sometimes I forget which camp people are in - I should plan for a dignified retreat rather than a rout if things are going to change.

Womag - thanks for comments on transition blog. Your friends ans family think you're a geek?? It's a constant refrain from writers, isn't it, that either their F & F aren't interested or they think they're weird. People don't think painters and musicians are weird, do they?

Karen - I'm very careful what I say! And your library reflections are laced with affection and humour, aren't they? I'm sure they wouldn't mind.

Pat - Hi! I wonder what the snow's like out your way today? Barney's disgusted with me as I've just let Sweetie Pie go back to bed (it's inches deep here and the school high on a hill). He's very old school in some respects...

Casdok - yup, being anonymous certainly helps you to speak your mind. Altho' your blog's pretty well known, so I suppose if any staff at the school google blogs for info on supporting C they might just happen upon you.

Lettice said...

Ha ha ha - I've just started my blog and nobody knows about it. I thought it was just me that did daft things like that...so glad I'm not on my own.

Honeysuckle said...

Hi Lettice - there's comfort in the fact someone else is nutty too! Good luck with your blog - I'll pop over if I can find it...

Penny said...

Problem is [maybe] that although blogging *feels* like a private conversation sometimes - a sort of thinking-out-loud - it's always a communication with others too. Squaring the circle is what we all do our best to do I think either as our real or virtual selves :-)

I'd say just be your own good self and not worry too much. It never seems to me you're intending to be in any way horrible to anyone. But you are honest, and that's great in my book!

Leigh said...

Ditto Womag's comment. Real-life folk know that I blog, but they all think I'm such a nerd that, as far as I know, none of them has ever read it.

Ditto Womag's suggestion too.

Don't vanish, though. Whatever you do. So glad to have you back. Don't want to lose you again.

Honeysuckle said...

Hi Penny - ha ha, no, I'm never intentioanlly horrible. Well, not often...

Leigh - aw, that's lovely of you. Thanks.